Michael Phelps is Gay? Says the Only Woman He Cares About is His Mother

In what may be his attempt to cover up his homosexuality, Michael Phelps claims he doesn't notice all the attention he gets from the ladies,...

I believe it. Nerds don't observe shit. You have to jump on their laps, put their hands in your special places and give 'em a lap dance before they realize that, 'hey, maybe she likes me?'

Mikey says,

"I don’t really notice it. When I go out, go to dinner, I go out with friends, and we stay to ourselves. I don’t think of myself as a sex symbol. My mom is by far the most important woman in my life."

Uh, muthafucka... your body is a sex symbol, not your face. But since your body comes with your face, it'll have to do for now, until you get some work done. I kid. I kid. I don't care about his face because I wouldn't look at it during sex.

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