Nicole Richie Takes Kristin's Leftovers

Nicole Richie is dating Kristin Cavallari's leftovers, Brody Jenner from The Princes of Malibu. I've been waiting to say that these two are together, because they claim they're "friends," so I decided to go with that until I kept hearing more. Yes, these two are apparently, supposedly, banging. I don't know how that's possible either. I think Nicole weighs 70 pounds when soaking wet. We're confused too, but what's not confusing is that Kristin Cavallari is desperately trying to get attention by wearing this "You Can Have Him" shirt:

Kristin, when you're in the news cuz people say you suck isn't exactly what being famous is all about. Trishelle is not a role model, she's just a dumb bitch, and you don't get off the D-List by greeting papparazzi while wearing shirts like this to get your flat ass some press.

First, you start by taking out your bad hair extensions. Then, you try to discover what your talent is besides getting drunk and blowing kisses...


Next, you attempt to use your talent without hooking up with people like Nick Lachey. Lastly, you get a good publicist, and hope we'll care about you for some reason...like you went to the moon, and delivered a baby in space.


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