Paris Hilton called gets outta jail on Monday and she's gonna be like the new Mother Teresa or sumthin. Paris called Ryan Seacrest and gave the following interview:"I'm so much more grateful for everything that I have, even just to have a pillow at night or food. You know my gratitude has gone up so much and I just realize that the media used me to make fun of and be mean about it. Frankly [I'm] sick of it and I want to use my fame in a good way.
Translation: I don't like being in jail, it sucks! If I do like charity stuff like Angelina Jolie people won't make fun of me anymore. That's the only reason why I want to use my fame in a good way. Haha!
"I am behind glass and I want to give my dad a big hug and they won't even let me do that. That's how the rules are, you have to be behind glass. I'm not a criminal, I'm not dangerous, so it makes me feel like that. It's hard but I'm stronger everyday."
Translation: I didn't know shit about jail! I'm like, OMG there's like glass?! WTF? I would fix my hair in my reflection. That was hot.
"I just can't wait to see my family and have a nice meal and be in my own bed and appreciate all the things I took for granted and never really thought much about."
Translation: I can't wait to eat really expensive food then barf it up. I'm dying to get in my bed and bang twice as many guys as I would before. I'm not taking dick for granted ever again! That's good shit. I never really thought much about it, I would just tell random guys to 'stick it in.' But I'm more compassionate now. I'll stick it in myself. I'll even be on top. There's just so much I have to be grateful for. Thinking makes my head hurt, but when you do, you can like come up with some like good ideas, ya know?
People, source
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