Some dumb show featuring the untalented Pussycat Dolls premieres tonight on the CW. Here's an early review. I'm not intrested in this trash, but some of you may be. I sure do know how to sell a show, don't I?THE COMPETITION
Auditions - We're not forced to endure weeks of tryouts with sub-par singers or dancers. Instead, the 18 girls have three days to learn song-and-dance routines that they perform before getting cut down to nine.
Talent - Most of the girls can actually dance, and some can even carry a tune. Unfortunately, not all can do both at the same time.
Dedication - These girls put the Top Model wannabes to shame. (*SPOILER ALERT*) After a virus sweeps through the 18 contestants, many are left literally puking up bile or lying down with an IV sticking out of their arms. Despite this, every single girl got up and performed their audition, and four of the sick ones even got chosen as finalists.
THE GIRLS (Zap2it's favorite four)
Chelsea - She once weighed 192 pounds. No really. We've seen the photo several times. Having overcome being an "ogre," she's now extremely competitive and plucky.
Melissa R. - This tiny, very cute girl who can dance and sing appears to have it all ... except the support of her two practical, doctor parents and her pastor.
Anastacia - She's probably the prettiest and most, umm, statuesque of the bunch and knows it. Her "it's all about me" attitude makes her kind of scary, but in a hot way.
Sisely - She quit her punk rock band to try out, which makes her a bit of a wild card, but she has interesting vocals and looks like a feline Kirsten Dunst.
THE HOST
Mark McGrath - Why is the former Sugar Ray lead singer here? I can't think of one instance when he was needed.
THE JUDGES (except for Robin, they don't appear until the second episode)
Robin Antin - As the creator of the PCD, she seems more like the Tyra Banks of this outfit -- doling out advice, critiquing when necessary and appearing smug the whole time. Her best line when she tells the girls to dress up for a night out: "Look cute. No crimped hair."
Lil' Kim - Ex-con and rapper with the soul of a PCD; She seems a little bit soft on the contestants and is wowed mainly by their personality or appearance.
Ron Fair - The really critical one of the group. No British accent though.
THE HELPERS
Mikey Minden - co-choreographer; A demanding instructor with lots of flair and a love for the skull motif on his clothing. And, despite obviously being gay, he's "hot" -- or at least contestant Melissa S. thinks so.
Eric Dawkins - vocal producer; Not afraid to tell the girls that they're flat or can't hit a note.
The Pussycat Dolls - Frankly, Nicole is the only one we recognize at this point. She always seems to be "on" and aware of the cameras.
OTHER OBSERVATIONS
- This is probably not a show where being "too sexy" is a liability like on Top Model.
- Even so, when some of these girls are out of costume and makeup, they look disturbingly young since many are only 18.
- The argument over female empowerment rages on.
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