John Mayer has been through one too many pussies that it's blatantly obvious the man is pure evil. It's not so much that John's a whore that's irksome, it's that John is probably a really great boyfriend. I'm talkin' all kinds of romantical dates and sensual adventures in the sack.
He's the type who'll cry into your arms on Monday and tell you he's never been happier in life, because you're what he's dreamed of, then email you Tuesday morning saying he was just drunk and it's not there anymore, "Sorry." He'll say it's not you, it's him, oh! and those three sluts he banged last weekend. Which will, of course, prompt you to play Fiona Apple songs and become a born again lesbian who now rides strap-ons named 'John's penis' with her mustache wearing butch lovers.
This is not going to end in Jen's favor, but for Maniston's sake, I wish it would.
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