"He thought Nick was beneath Jessica," our insider says. "But, oh, how he loves Tony Romo." According to the source, Joe literally calls the Dallas Cowboys quarterback "Texas royalty," and he considers Jessica "the perfect Texas Rose."Joe won't be calling Tony royalty for much longer. Romo has already tried to dump his Ono.
On Jan. 17, Tony called Jessica at her L.A. home to try to break things off. "He said he thought it was better if they went back to being friends," a pal of the singer tells OK!. "'Just friends' is not in Jessica's vocabulary, and she is not a victim. She knows how bad this will look in the media."
I'm always defending Jessica. I must have a subconscious crush on her or something. Those titties must be sending subliminal messages my way every time they appear.
Texas' "perfect rose" is wilting, Papa Joe! You can schedule plastic surgery for Jess to keep her Double D's and ass lookin' the way you like 'em, but she's gotta get a personality first, and she's gotta find someone with similarities.
Intellectual, guitar rocker and male slut John Mayer was a bad match. And Jess hates football with a passion yet she's dating one of the NFL's best. If I could pick out a douche for Jess, who would it be? Oh shit this is hard. I gotta think of a male ditz - Jared Leto, Brody Jenner. Then I gotta think of a male singer who seems sensitive - JC Chasez, but I think he's in the closet, hmmm... gawd, this is hard. I'll say Lenny Kravitz! Jessica was a virgin until she was married and now Lenny's one too. Heh.
Honestly, I'd go with Ryan Gosling or Ryan Reynolds, but Scar Jo's banging Reynolds, so maybe Gosling would be best. I'm fresh out of ideas. Feel free to help a blogger out. :)
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