"I know people probably think I've been heartbroken, because of the stuff I've sung and written. But I have never said the words 'I love you' to anyone in a romantic relationship. Ever.""I am very old-school, conservative in my thinking when it comes to relationships. Love is something you work at. It doesn't come easily. There are going to be bad days. You are going to have to work at loving someone when they are being an idiot. People think they're just going to meet the perfect guy." She laughs. "Don't be ridiculous."
She is a normal dress size. She smiles. She doesn't smoke, because it's "gross." She is "definitely not slutty." She drinks, "like, maybe twice a year."
"She is the most popular pop vocalist in the country," echoes Clay Aiken, a friend and former touring partner. "And to be that girl and not mind being photographed with your hair messed up—that is something. Can you name any other singer who would dare do that? I mean, please."
"I'm fine with it," Clarkson says of the many unflattering paparazzi photos. "I just don't care. I don't wear makeup in public. I don't worry about what I'm wearing. Hell, I wore pajamas to high school."
"It is weird when a 12-year-old tells me I am their favorite artist," she muses. "I'm always like, It's just because you're young and you haven't heard everybody yet. In time, I'll be weeded out. And that's cool. I know I'm a good singer, but I know who I am, too."
"I tend to be early. I'm not patient. I have no tolerance for stupidity. I work too much. All my conversations revolve around my job. So I'm boring."In person, the Texas-born-and-reared Clarkson has a cartoonishly sexy body. She is short, 5'4", with a flat stomach and a tiny waist that flares into a high, bee-stung bottom."I have no boobs," she says, laughing. Nor does she want any. "I go in and out," she explains pointing to her middle, then her hips. "Greek," she shrugs. Her personal style is casual. "I never try on clothes. I am all about sneakers and T-shirts."
"I've sold more than 15 million records worldwide, and still nobody listens to what I have to say. Because I'm 25 and a woman."
Clive Davis, who is said to have offered Clarkson $10 million to ditch five of her songs for more radio-friendly picks of his choosing. Clarkson declined."I am a good singer, so I can't possibly be a good writer. Women can't possibly be good at two things. I haven't lost my temper about it. It only drives me more. If your thing is to bring me down, cool. I'll just work harder."
A short list of things Clarkson doesn't want:
A clothing line.
A fragrance with her name on the bottle.
A television show.
A movie role.
A toy dog in a leather jacket.
"I could give a crap about being a star," Clarkson says. "I've always just wanted to sing and write."
On American Idol's give back show:
"My label wanted me to sing 'Never Again,'" she says. "And I was like, To promote yourself on a charity event is beyond crass. People are starving and dying and I'm up there singing some bitter pop song? And believe me, everyone wanted me to sing it. Because they are jaded and they have no soul. Imagine sitting in a room full of people totally against you. Can't they hear themselves speaking? Capitalize on AIDS? Are you kidding? Insulting an entire nation of people? I just refused."
"If I were to make Breakaway II, I would have failed myself," Clarkson says. "I don't mind sucking, as long as it is my decision. I have literally been told one of the reasons this record took so long to come together is because I am a girl. This is 2007! We aren't in the '50s anymore. Wake up and smell the Folgers."
"Making this album was really hard," she says, removing the dress and settling into a chair in a white bathrobe. "I remember having this horrible day, and a friend sent me this link to a website with all my private information on it—my phone numbers, my addresses, my bank card numbers. I read it and I was in this tiny little bathroom in this rented house and I was sobbing. It felt like I had nothing for me. I bawled. I felt naked.""I'm not keen on marriage. I don't let many people in. Men come and go. Friends are what I care about." If she did want a guy, she'd pick a funny charmer. "I can't stand pretty boys. The guys I date are the just-rolled-out-of-bed, scruffy type. Baseball cap, flannel shirt. Like Luke on Gilmore Girls."
"Kelly is the type who will wait until the right guy, and when she finds him it will happen really fast," Ashley says. "I can see her getting married, even if she can't."
When the press preamble is finished and she finally hits the red carpet to the accompaniment of a thousand blinking flashes, she will not just hear her name called, like every other celebrity. She will be cheered. Because loving Kelly Clarkson is easy. Even if she won't say it back.
elle
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