Brody Jenner Could Have Been A "F***ing Hero To America!"

Is Brody Jenner a tool?! We must find out. Let's investigate together, shall we?What was at the heart of the long-gone relationship between Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner? He was trying to get her to eat.

In the March issue of Details magazine, The Hills' star, Heidi Montag's piece (Spencer Pratt) gives some deets.

In a dialogue exchange, Spencer tells Brody to feed the skinny ass bitch aka Nicole Richie.

Spencer Pratt says to Jenner, "Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you're gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right?

You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that sh--, bro. You'll be, like, a f---ing hero to America."

I love brilliant "bros." You wanna become an effing hero, have Nicole Richie eat some food! Gawd, that's genius!

A week after Jenner and Richie split in October, Jenner forged a relationship with The Hills costar Lauren Conrad. (That ended quickly, too.)

"Basically," says Jenner, 23, "I made it, like, my mission to try to go on a date with every girl on The Hills."

He's also extended his reach beyond the show. "Let's see where Lindsay's at, get her up in here," Jenner is quoted as saying as he text-messages Lohan, though the two are merely described as "just friends."

Even so, Lohan texted back and eventually shows up to meet Jenner at Hyde.And the future? "I wanna meet a girl who has nothing to do with L.A., a nice, normal, real girl."

Then he adds, "Actually, you now, that's gonna be a component of our new MTV show – me leaving L.A. to meet a normal girl. It might be hard, though, with all the cameras."

Brody and Spencer are both mimbos! And Nicole Richie didn't eat shit. So Brody, you failed. Now go date some other bony bitches like Kate Bosworth.

In the meantime, maybe you can come up with some other ways to become America's new hero. Process that shit, bro!


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